[There was a time when he thought that was all he wanted to hear. To reach the finish line, stop her schemes, bring her back, and have someone—her, Lillie, he didn't know—look at him with admiration and say, I can't believe you made it through all of that.
He thought a lot of things, back then.
It's awkward now. It's true. It's still down in the muck with the two of them, where clumsiness is the rule.]
Yeah. [Yeah.] It wasn't...a question of deserving. We were just there. [Wicke said something like that once.] I know because she didn't stop. After we left. I...
[Sigh.]
Something stupid about the whole thing is, I knew she was bad. She wasn't like that before. Even when it was gradual, it was—I knew it wasn't right. [More or less. Most of the time.] But I also...didn't. I didn't think I should...do anything about—not even that. There wasn't much I could do. But I didn't even think it through. [Is this a distinction without a difference? It feels like there's a difference.] Not until Silvally. I left because I found out about the UBs and the Beast Killer. It put this whole...idea in my head about what would happen if I stole it and ran away. But none of that actually made sense. And it sure didn't happen that way. But—
[What was his point? Gladion runs a hand back through his hair, swallowing back the scrambling feeling that was starting to run circles around him.]
...I don't regret leaving. Obviously. It still turned out for the better, for everyone, eventually. [Bluh.] What was I saying. [Bluuuugh.] Silvally is the Beast Killer. Mother changing the project meant, maybe they'd let it out now and then, or maybe they'd just shove it into cryostorage and forget about it. That's how I realized what the stakes were. For...us. She treated us one way because we're her own human children she was stuck with, and if we were Pokemon she'd let us get shoved in boxes when she was done with us too.
[Exhale.] Anyways. One reason I came up with was that I'd scare her into waking up. Or taking Silvally would screw up her plans and she'd have to stop. Just, either way, running away would fix things there too. But it didn't. She came down even harder on Lillie when I wasn't there. And after Lillie ran too, she went on ahead with the master plan.
[Point made. He thinks. After taking the long way around. He got a little worked up along the way—not, like, tearful or anything, just a little agitated from how much there always is.]
I'm fine. [For the record. In case the sudden rash of sighs and hair-fussing implied otherwise.] It's just a mess.
no subject
He thought a lot of things, back then.
It's awkward now. It's true. It's still down in the muck with the two of them, where clumsiness is the rule.]
Yeah. [Yeah.] It wasn't...a question of deserving. We were just there. [Wicke said something like that once.] I know because she didn't stop. After we left. I...
[Sigh.]
Something stupid about the whole thing is, I knew she was bad. She wasn't like that before. Even when it was gradual, it was—I knew it wasn't right. [More or less. Most of the time.] But I also...didn't. I didn't think I should...do anything about—not even that. There wasn't much I could do. But I didn't even think it through. [Is this a distinction without a difference? It feels like there's a difference.] Not until Silvally. I left because I found out about the UBs and the Beast Killer. It put this whole...idea in my head about what would happen if I stole it and ran away. But none of that actually made sense. And it sure didn't happen that way. But—
[What was his point? Gladion runs a hand back through his hair, swallowing back the scrambling feeling that was starting to run circles around him.]
...I don't regret leaving. Obviously. It still turned out for the better, for everyone, eventually. [Bluh.] What was I saying. [Bluuuugh.] Silvally is the Beast Killer. Mother changing the project meant, maybe they'd let it out now and then, or maybe they'd just shove it into cryostorage and forget about it. That's how I realized what the stakes were. For...us. She treated us one way because we're her own human children she was stuck with, and if we were Pokemon she'd let us get shoved in boxes when she was done with us too.
[Exhale.] Anyways. One reason I came up with was that I'd scare her into waking up. Or taking Silvally would screw up her plans and she'd have to stop. Just, either way, running away would fix things there too. But it didn't. She came down even harder on Lillie when I wasn't there. And after Lillie ran too, she went on ahead with the master plan.
[Point made. He thinks. After taking the long way around. He got a little worked up along the way—not, like, tearful or anything, just a little agitated from how much there always is.]
I'm fine. [For the record. In case the sudden rash of sighs and hair-fussing implied otherwise.] It's just a mess.